this weekend, i threw a tantrum.
& if there’s ever been something i regret in life, it’s that this weekend i threw a tantrum.
the thing is, when you’re legit depriving your body of calories & over-exerting it to its core, you’re gonna start going a little crazy- at least that’s what i’m telling myself post-tantrum.
but, it really is the truth.
you know those girls who constantly talk about calories in- calories out? the girls who want others to know how much they’re consuming? working out? how far they’re running? how much sugar they’ve turned down in the hopes of acquiring phenomenal abdominals?
well, up until mid-January of this year, i was not that girl.
however, as the competition grew & as i started to really deprive myself of the sweeter joys in life (donuts on the weekend, cupcakes at birthday parties, one of mama j’s fresh baked cookies, etc), i shifted into becoming that girl- the one i used to loathe.
& this weekend, i had a come to jesus moment with myself (& with my family) where i promised my loving father, “i will never do one of these competitions again.”
i’m competitive to my core.
this is no surprise to any one that knows me,
but this weekend, i would like a re-do on a moment that occurred around 7 pm Saturday night.
when it was suggested that we head to Sunday brunch at a place known for its baked goods & made-from-scratch everything, i said, in a voice heard mainly from cranky four years old, “cant we wait two more weeks so i can actually enjoy the brunch, too?”
my dad, being the natural smart-ass that he is, quickly responded, “it’ll be fine, you can eat healthy & i’ll eat the baked goods you were gonna order.”
my behavior after his remark was nothing short of bratty.
there may have been a rolling of the eyes & a swivel in an office chair so i could look away from them all…
i don’t remember details (yes, yes i do), but i know it will never happen again.
within five minutes of said moment, it hit me that i’m twenty eight years old, i signed up for this competition on my own & my dear family should not be subjected to my madness.
i think more than anything, i had this two-fold realization that i’m depriving myself not only of calories but of opportunities to socialize with the people i love the most.
i quickly apologized for my embarrassing behavior,
we ended up making our way to Sunday brunch (hello, egg white omelet & a bite of mama’s pancake!),
& i thanked baby jesus that this ride is almost over.
i may fit into my skinniest of jeans, but all be dammed if i snap at my family over gooey butter cake ever again!