i knew i’d moved on when his birthday happened without a disruption to my day. his words no longer affected me and his presence no longer felt. the man i hoped would be in my future, now a boy in my past. dreams filled with desire and anticipation turned to revenge and ignorance, and the present reality filled with adoration and kindness, two things needed but never had.
i knew i’d moved on when hearing his name no longer triggered a gut reaction of disgust, and when i finally accepted the time spent to be a learning moment instead of a waste. perhaps there was too much value on what could have been, because nothing is worth more than the dissolving of an emotional roller coaster and a fresh start on stable foundation.