“We live in an age where we feel guilt whenever we have to cut someone off but the reality is that some relationships do need to die, some people do need to be unfollowed and defriended. We aren’t meant to be this tethered to the people in our past. The Internet mandates that we don’t burn bridges and keep everyone around like relics but those expectations are unrealistic and unhealthy. Simply put, we don’t need to know what everyone else is up to. We’re allowed to be choosy about who we surround ourselves with online and in real life, even if it might hurt people’s feelings.”—
Ryan O’Connell, You Don’t Have To Be Friends With Everybody
a month or so ago i decided to do a little unfriending on all social media platforms. within an hour, i went from 777 “friends” to 346, and i stopped following about 47 people on twitter. within 24 hours, i was getting friend requests from those i had removed.
considering i worked at a company for 18 months where social media was the end all, be all, i know some of the tricks to social media, and honestly, i don’t care about any of them.
however, what boggled my mind is why are so many people wrapped up in social media relationships? are you friends in real life? do you get drinks on the regular? Sunday night dinners? have you been emailed by that person? received a christmas card? a birthday card? have you talked to them in the grocery store since you all graduated? were you called when they got a new job? a promotion? when a death occurred in the family? or did you simply read a status update?
as i get older & [hopefully] a little bit wiser, i realize what qualities make for a genuine friend, & i know it’s not whether or not you follow me on twitter or are friends with me on a platform created by a seemingly unpopular guy at Harvard. real friendships, those based on human emotions, valued experiences, communication outside of a text, those are the people, my people, who understand where i’m at in life.
regardless if i’m too emotional or have a hard time getting over the past [relationships], it’s social media — write whatever rules you want, because in the end, no matter what etiquette you believe should exist on the various platforms, it’ll always be you against the Winklevoss twins.
“The first fall of snow is not only an event, it is a magical event. You go to bed in one kind of a world and wake up in another quite different, and if this is not enchantment then where is it to be found?”—
last night, i had essays from three classes to grade.
for 2+ hours, i sat at my desk with the blinds cracked awaiting some snow.
around 10 pm i looked over & spotted the faint flurries flying by the glass.
in that quiet moment, everything felt different, magical.
this morning, as the sun rose, my bedroom filled with a brighter light.
without needing to look outside, i knew snow had coated the ground.
every season has its highlights,
& i believe winter’s best is often during its first snow.
we’ve both been pretty busy with work obligations & gearing up for the holiday season, so it was great to hang out with no real schedule for a couple days…well, except for a visit to see a dairy cow & some Colts.
on Saturday, we visited the Hamilton Town Center Holiday Festival where visitors could enter the “name the cow” contest. Paige’s guess? Moocha Latte. Mama J’s guess? Holy Holstein. the winning name? Milk Dud.
also, now through Christmas, if you’re in the Indianapolis area, visit a Simon Mall (Castleton & Greenwood) & take your picture with our #SantaDrinksMilk cut out (as well as meet Santa!).
looks like we’re on some home video somewhere…
Sunday was for staying in our jammies, drinking coffee, reading the paper, & taking a short drive downtown to cheer on the Colts.
& while the game was real ugly, we were dolled up…looking back, i think that’s what mattered.
the next time i see Paige (& my other favorite girls..hi, Kelsey!) will be in early February, & i am already counting down the days.
no matter how much times passes between visits, we’re always able to pick up where we left off… it’s a nice comfort in the midst of chaotic lives!
when i was a little tater tot, i never dreamed about life at 29.
truthfully, i was always stuck on 25.
25 was that magical number when i would be married, have a kid (or two), be living in a house with a handsome husband, gainfully employed, & happy, truly happy.
& then, 25 came & went.
a few more years flew by & here i am…happy, truly happy.
for me, 29 should have been that magical number.
i wish i had the foresight back then to stop thinking that life needed to happen before a number, a flip of the calendar page, or a particular year.
i wish i would’ve known that it was possible to receive degrees, move across the country, build a house, and break down bridges without a partnership— & even so, i truly believe that no house, relationship, job or degree will ever compare to the feeling when you’re finally, truly content with the life you’ve made for yourself.
(related: i can’t tell you how many times i’ve been told over the past 5+ years that i should hold off on creating life events until i find that “special someone.” spoiler alert, i’d still be waiting!)
i wish i would have known back then that 29 would feel like the most warranted birthday yet- the one where i can finally wish those wishes that will come out like soul searching prayers instead of trivial breaths filled with hopes for first kisses, selfish wins, & designer shoes.
i am so thankful to be here, starting out the last year in my twenties very aware of what has gone down in my past.
i know it’s only 29 & not some big milestone day, but to me, it’s so much more than that, & i think my 5 year old self, in her pig-tailed glory, would be pleased.
your life is your life don’t let it be clubbed into dank submission. be on the watch. there are ways out. there is a light somewhere. it may not be much light but it beats the darkness. be on the watch. the gods will offer you chances. know them. take them. you can’t beat death but you can beat death in life, sometimes. and the more often you learn to do it, the more light there will be. your life is your life. know it while you have it. you are marvelous the gods wait to delight in you.